I am Hack Sparrow
Captain of the Internets.

What is wrong with Batman Movies

I am a HUGE Batman fan, and have been one since as long as I can remember. Batman, to me, is one of the most awe-inspiring and amazing person (fictional or real) that exists in the history of mankind.

Though we all may interpret Batman differently, this is the Batman we know from the DC comics.

Batman in Comics

When I saw the re-run of the Adam West Batman TV series, I found it extremely ridiculous, to say the least. But it was excusable because it was made in the 60s, way before Batman became THE Batman.

When Tim Burton's Batman was released in 1989, I had great hopes for it. But it turned out to be a complete downer. Every single Batman movie has successfully disappointed me till this date. To be honest I didn't even watch most of them just by looking at the posters and promos.

I did watch Christopher Nolan's Batman Begins. It was a bad Batman movie again, in my opinion. I skipped The Dark Knight. These days I am getting to see some photos and promos of Nolan's upcoming The Dark Knight Rises, I have already made up my mind that I am not going to watch the movie, because it too is a bad Batman movie.

Batman in Hollywood hasn't improved much since Adam West's Batman.

Batman in Hollywood

In my opinion, none of the Batman movies has captured the essence of Batman onscreen. Probably because they were made by people who don't understand why Batman is the way he is, or probably they first came to know about Batman at a fancy dress competition. The Batman they have created so far look nothing like the real Batman, they look more like someone who dresses up badly / ridiculously as Batman on Halloween.

So what is the secret to creating the perfect Batman in movies? Just three points.

i. Batman's Eyes

Eyes are the windows to one's soul. That is the reason why Batman does not show his eyes. Instead of eyes that can give him away, Batman has a glowing pair of slits that are capable mostly of expressing only terror.

A Batman with blinking and darting kohl-eyes looks like a Batman character who ran away from the circus.

Batman's eyes are dead and cold, yet intimidating and terrifying at the same time. It doesn't tell you what he is thinking, what he is feeling, where he is looking at. All it tells you is that he is there to put you down.

ii. Batman's Cloak

Batman's cloak isn't just a piece of cloth he wears to look like one of his fancy superhuman friends. His cloak, apart from being an armor and a physical weapon, is an crucial psychological weapon to crush the minds of his opponents. His cloak is 'alive'. It is a physical and psychological extension of Batman, and he doesn't need to grab it by his hands to shape or move it around.

Batman's cloak never clings to his back like a wet towel depicted in the movies. The character of his cloak is one of the most important things that make Batman, Batman.

iii. Batman's Suit

Batman's suit is simple and effective, nothing fancy. It doesn't have bat-nipples and muscles sculpted on it. Also it doesn't make Batman looks like he is a robot crafted by Nike and Adidas in a joint venture (The Dark Knight Rises).

Batman is not going for a fancy dress competition, he is out there to fight crime.

The 'Hollywoodized' looks of Batman is more likely to tickle the funny bones of the criminals, rather than freezing them with horror, which the real Batman does.

I would pay double the ticket price to watch a Batman movie that puts the comic book Batman to life on the big screen. Hopefully someone will make a good Batman movie in the future. Till then, I will keep waiting to be mind-blown by a kickass movie of my favorite superhero.

7 Responses to “What is wrong with Batman Movies”

  1. Coffee says:

    Ohhh come on, that is so not fair.
    Like you I love Batman, I used to devour the comics books and I can’t believe you thought Tim Burton’s Batman was bad (I didn’t love the second one, but it wasn’t that bad). I do agree that the tv show was pretty silly and Joel Schumacher’s was just.. well, atrocious (and that’s putting it mildly). But then comes Christopher Nolan 🙂 with some excellent entertainment. I loved the Dark Knight, good acting, reasonably good script and the director himself did a pretty good job.

  2. Captain says:

    The problem with me is that I want to see someone bring the dynamics of Batman comics to films. Batman movies fail to give you the feeling you get out of reading a Batman comic, at least it fails for me. Probably only a genius could accomplish what I am looking for. I still await.

  3. Coffee says:

    Fair enough.
    Well if you think the movies failed to capture Batman’s mood dynamics, although I disagree, then please don’t ever watch Daredevil. Now that’s what I call insulting.

  4. Captain says:

    Haha, thanks for the heads up!

  5. alfian says:

    I’m so agree with you!

  6. sarroth says:

    If you think Batman Begins was a bad Batman movie, then I doubt you will ever get a Batman movie you consider good. When Batman Begins was released, I knew it was the Batman movie I had always known the franchise could achieve. The Dark Knight followed and corrected every mistake made in the previous movies with the Joker and Two-Face characters, and is one of the best sequels ever made, up there with The Godfather 2. The Dark Knight Rises, while it has its issues, is certainly not a Godfather 3, as it is among the best finals to a trilogy ever made. Yet you didn’t like Batman Begins and haven’t even seen the other two? I find it quite shocking that any self-titled Batman fan wouldn’t find some enjoyment out of those movies, let alone despise their trailers so much as to not even watch them.

  7. Captain says:

    Hi sarroth, a batman with blinking, darting, kohl eyes, is not the Batman I have on my mind. They look like circus runways. Their movies don’t interest me.

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